Journal Entry #2- Sometimes you have to cry
So today I did something completely unusual for me, I cried; not only that I cried in front of my supervisor. I cried because I was frustrated with the lack of new, professional development opportunities I am getting during the non-session days of orientation. Basically I had been stuffing folders for three days in a row and the end still seems no where in sight. The advising staff (which in most cases includes me and three other student staff members) are in charge of stuffing half of all student folders used this summer. Yes there are 20 some orientation advisers but because they receive a stipend instead of a hourly salary, they don’t have to come in on off days. And the office staff in the orientation office is also not required to have specific hours on off days so it is hard to rely on them. It’s good to know these policies and how they affect all parties (I will certainly contemplate them more at a later date) but when you are the party doing the lion’s share of the work, it’s hard to want to put up with it, let alone see it from a theoretical standpoint. So I cried.
What did it get me? Well not a lot, we still have to do the folders, but there may be some more opportunties coming my way. The big hurdle is the fact that while I’m confident that I could take on more advising roles than I currently have, there are surely those who aren’t quite sure I can do it or should do it. I will be getting the chance on Friday to be the staff supervisor in an advising lab, which will be a first time thing for me and there still a chance that because of increased enrollment numbers that I may be able to lead my own advising session. I really hope this becomes a reality. All I can do is keep working hard and hope that I gain more and more trust and in doing so gain greater roles within the department.
I’ll be honest coming into a new system is hard and wanting/needing to gain increased responsibility quickly is even harder. I’m not sure crying was the right way to go, in fact I’m still a bit embarrassed by my tears, but tomorrow is another day and that’s all that matters.